5:35 and a wake-up call

4:22 a.m.
My feet start shuffling beneath the covers, struggling to move the rest of me towards the bathroom at the end of the hall. Returning to bed, I look at the clock. I am thankful to have a couple more hours before it’s time to get up and stay up in order to get ready for a choral workshop at St. David’s.

But I am on Prednisone…have been for a week and a half now and will be on for another week. For anyone who knows this drug as well as I do (along with my fellow MS buddies), getting any decent amount of sleep is a challenge for which there is no solution short of another handful of other kinds of pills; and at 4:22 a.m. it’s too late/early for that.

5:35 a.m.
I give up. The night is over. Now my feet are skipping towards the kitchen to make coffee; my mind, on the other hand, is dragging and cursing the shortness of the night.

I am used to this.

The kitchen is still dark, but a faint yellow glow glimmers through the window over the sink. Looking out, I get another kind of wake-up call…the kind that humbles me and tells me to be a little more thankful for life and breath, for the moments that are ever so brief and beautiful.

Sister Moon and her water-twin at 5:35 a.m.

Sister Moon and her water-twin at 5:35 a.m.

Sister moon-glow and her twin moon-reflection on the water blesses me. Some human on this earth needed to witness and receive the gift at this hour. I’m glad it was me.

Battling an MS flare is the absolute antithesis of a having thankful “moment.” Yesterday was my 13th “diagnostic” anniversary. It is one of those calendar dates that no matter how hard you try to ignore, it holds a banner over every step you take. This year, a flare-up made that date slap me around a little more than usual.

This morning as I begin my 14th year of living with MS, I am reminded that living on this earth is more than a personal battle. It is recognizing that although you might not be happy to be wide awake at 5:35 a.m. there could be a divine purpose in it …even if it is just to be the one person on earth to view the moon’s reflection on the water outside your window; and to be thankful for a gift that could have been given to anyone, but you were the one chosen to receive it.

The Canticle of Brother Sun and Sister Moon
(St. Francis of Assisi)

Most high, all powerful, all good Lord! All praise is yours, all glory, all honor, and all blessing.
To you, alone, Most High, do they belong. No mortal lips are worthy to pronounce your name.
Be praised, my Lord, through all your creatures, especially through my lord Brother Sun, who brings the day; and you give light through him.
And he is beautiful and radiant in all his splendor!
Of you, Most High, he bears the likeness.
Be praised, my Lord, through Sister Moon and the stars;
in the heavens you have made them, precious and beautiful.
Be praised, my Lord, through Brothers Wind and Air, and clouds and storms, and all the weather, through which you give your creatures sustenance.
Be praised, My Lord, through Sister Water; she is very useful, and humble, and precious, and pure.
Be praised, my Lord, through Brother Fire, through whom you brighten the night.
He is beautiful and cheerful, and powerful and strong.
Be praised, my Lord, through our sister Mother Earth, who feeds us and rules us, and produces various fruits with colored flowers and herbs.
Be praised, my Lord, through those who forgive for love of you; through those who endure sickness and trial. Happy those who endure in peace, for by you, Most High, they will be crowned.
Be praised, my Lord, through our Sister Bodily Death, from whose embrace no living person can escape.
Woe to those who die in mortal sin!
Happy those she finds doing your most holy will. The second death can do no harm to them.
Praise and bless my Lord, and give thanks, and serve him with great humility
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About writemyline

Ride like a knight. Write like a warrior.
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One Response to 5:35 and a wake-up call

  1. Deb –
    This is just beautiful. All your friends wish we could have been there with you to share your pain and the glory of your moon.
    (And thanks for putting “Francesca” on your night table!)
    Tom

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